Tag Archives: LGBT

Getting Hitched in Argentina – Part II


So we did the dang thing! We still haven’t decided how to combine our last names yet. Everything worked out in a mostly-planned, partially-improvised brew-ha-ha (no idea how to spell that) that joined friends from many countries. The best part was they all got along instantly. I was expecting that, but it was amazing to watch. One of my best friends surprised us by flying in from Morocco. All of this is going to keep me smiling for months and months to come. I never planned to get married, let alone in Spanish. At the ceremony beforehand I had to ask how you say “I do.” It’s “Acepto.” Judge Antonia Pinelli did a fantastic job. She was official without being officious and has such a warm heart. She did a pretty bad job with my name though, but a laugh is always good during something like this. She called me Sirli Mah-ree-ay Ñeuman instead of Sharlene Marie Newman. My favorite bit was when she said our marriage is important to the Nation of Argentina. Thank you Argentina, and thank you to our wonderful witnesses Alicia and Hugo.


They gave us the official paperwork and the Libreta de Familia wherein we’ll enter our children’s names when that time comes. It’s used for traveling purposes. In the opening pages it talks about what marriage means and gives reasonable rules for naming children. One of which is that you shan’t give a kid more than three first names, nor can you give them any names that are “ridiculous”. I love it! I have always liked the name Fahrenheit. Exotic or ridiculous? Next we have to have our papers “legalized” and stamped in Argentina and then sent to the Hague. Whoa. I hadn’t realized that beforehand. This means that anywhere in the world that has matrimonio igualitario will recognize our legal bond – and in the US, too, since DOMA hit the dustbins of history.

After the ceremony we had some champagne in the park. Yes, you can have open containers publicly in Argentina. Guess what? There are no more drunks wandering around there than anywhere else. Then we went to a Tenedor Libre, which is an all-you-can-eat buffet of pasta, salad, grilled meats, desserts and more for about 12 bucks a person. From there we headed to Terra Nostra in Luján de Cuyo, which is 16 km from the city center and surrounded by vineyards. It is a series of 7 cabins that could use some updating, but holds 40 people. There is a pool, large patio, kids park toys, a foosball table and a huge grill pit area. It is perfect for a small wedding or family reunion. We had cocktails by the pool as the sun was setting. We also went to the Termas de Cacheuta. It’s maybe an hour bus ride from the city, surrounded by mountains with plenty of great restaurants, massage therapists and shops in the area all for very reasonable prices. There are hot and cold spring pools and a lazy river. The place is magical.

Saturday we did a private ceremony with friends that was fully improvised and very fun, ending with a helium balloon launch into the sky. From there the caterers set up shop by the grill station and the sit-down dinner became a stand-up affair. Terra Nostra also has a large dance hall where the deejay set up. We watched video toasts from friends, danced a bit of the Chilean Cueca and generally shook our asses until the early hours of Sunday. I like this being a “Mrs.” thing.

If you have any questions on procedural stuff in Argentina or the border crossing or whatnot, let me know.


Getting Hitched in Argentina


Want to get married somewhere that’s not home? Maybe you don’t want your entire extended family of third cousins present, or maybe you’re part of the LGBT community and you can’t legally wed in your home country. Argentina could be a good option, particularly for Spanish speakers or those willing to hire interpreters. The matrimonio igualitario (marriage equality) covers everyone whether a citizen or not. Once married and you’ve gotten your documents “legalized” or stamped for foreign validity, your marriage will be recognized in whatever country you may live or work in that has equal marriage rights. Example, a Chilean friend was going to live in Germany for several years. The only way to bring her partner with her for an extended stay without applying for a visa was to get married. Since gay marriage is legit in Germany, this worked for them – even though in their home country of Chile it is not yet recognized. This is changing here, with the recent passage of civil unions for gay and straight alike, but that’s a different article.

The paperwork can be confusing though, so my future wife and I went to Mendoza recently to find out which bureaucratic hoops we had to jump through. This is Latin America after all. We went to speak with the folks at two different Registros Civiles (town halls, essentially) to ask about the requirements. Each office does things a bit differently, and it always helps to be especially gracious when dealing with the government employees. All of the funcionarios we spoke with were EXTREMELY friendly and helpful. One option is the Matrimonio Móvil, where they will come to your ceremony morning, night or weekend. The fee for this is 3,300 Argentinean pesos – roughly 380 USD on the official exchange, or maybe half that on the black market. It’s not hard to find people who want your dollars or euros. It is illegal however, so if you get screwed over you have no recourse. The civil ceremony at the office is totally free. If you choose the ‘mobile’ route, you must also hire a transportation company (there are bunches) to pick up your particular justice of the peace to bring them to and from your wedding site. These are the differences.

Whichever route you choose, you must follow these procedures:

1. Show up at the office exactly 30 days prior to your chosen wedding date to simply request the wedding. In our case, since we were already there even though it well in advance, the kind woman allowed us to set the date then and there. This goes back to my point about being extra friendly and also how each registro civil kind of sets its own rules.

2. You must have a pre-wedding meeting ALONG WITH your chosen witnesses. They can be from anywhere in the world, but the easiest thing is for them to be Mendocinos if you get hitched in Mendoza, Bonaerenses if in Buenos Aires… you get the idea. If not, you have to establish a temporary “residency” for said witnesses. It’s not hard, and only costs a few bucks – but they have to then be present with you in the same geographic location for both the meeting and the wedding of course.

3. Within a week of the wedding, foreigners to-be-hitched must also establish this fictional residence. We have chosen to use the pensión we always stay at as our address (of course we asked them first if it was okay). Bear in mind that the address you select can affect which Registro Civil to get married at. Our address is Mendoza city proper, so we can marry at the office inside the beautiful, giant park San Martín. You take the form given to you at the registro civil along with your identification (passport or permanent residency ID card of whichever country you reside in) to a notary public (called escrivano in Argentina and notario público in Chile) and they will give you back documentation proving your temporary residency is in said geographic locale. Yeah, it seems weird, but this is their way of allowing foreigners to get married in Argentina.

4. Technically, the official word is you need to bring your birth certificate, but both offices said that it really doesn’t matter if you don’t have it. Supposedly they like to use them to get the parents’ names right on the wedding certificate.

5. The last main thing required is a syphilis test. Yep. They changed the marriage laws, but this old one is still on the books. It is free, and they give you the information on where to get it done when you attend the prenuptial meeting. The results will be given back to you the very next day and have a validity period of 7 consecutive days.  The libreto de familia and any other odds and ends will also be given to you at this meeting.

6. After the wedding, you take your libreto and other documents to get “legalized” meaning they are stamped and ready to be used abroad. This cannot be done on the same day, but it can be done by a third party and then mailed to you elsewhere by a friend or acquaintance.

From what I understand, Mendoza is the most expedient area of the country to get married. Everyone so far has treated us (two women) extremely well. They’ve even commented that they think Chile, Perú etc. should decide to join the 21st century sometime soon! Mendoza is also an absolutely charming place to spend some time with a cornucopia of vineyards, hot springs, museums and restaurants in the area. It is not expensive – unless you want it to be. It can be hard to find a place that will hold a reception for fewer than 100, and if you’re not from there, it’s unlikely you’ll be importing more than 100 family members and friends. Unless maybe you have way too much money in your bank account. If anyone wants more specifics or has any questions, I can always share more about my personal experience. Oh, also, don’t forget about the visa entry fee for USers, Aussies and Brits.

And lastly, I can’t believe I’m actually getting married. Who knew?!?

Love or Evangelicals


People can believe what they want to believe. I think we all pretty much agree on that, as long as that belief doesn’t translate into violence or harm toward another. But what about proselytizing? Or as a former Evangelical has put it “Annoying people for Jesus”. We were in the plaza the other day in the center of La Serena, Chile, talking with a friend I haven’t seen in a year about some serious life realness, when a big ol’ band of folk marches through making a ruckus. The noise is apparently designed to get our attention with the ultimate goal being conversion. What a nice interlude. DSC_0011When they finally cleared the square, we picked up our conversation, no less converted than we had been. It seems to say, “Look at us. We’re so holy, and we have a lock on truth. Na-na na-na boo-boo.”  Super mature, and less than convincing. If I were the retaliatory type I’d knock on their doors at 4 AM and launch a diatribe about alien life and the multidimensional universe.

In Santiago at the Plaza de Armas, there is always a group there shouting over loudspeakers trying to theoretically bring people into the flock. There are artists and vendors, groups of friends and lovers all about the plaza. They go for a break or to peruse the wares, but not to find the lord. These mic’d folk are simply annoying. They don’t stop when there is an event in the square either. Frequently, groups from all over the world come to perform in live, public shows. Do they turn off their speakers and respectfully listen and let others enjoy, too? No. They turn the volume up louder! How do people who show such disdain for others and don’t know the meaning of the word ‘respect’ think they will convince people to join their group? It’s all just illogical to me.

The senate yesterday continued it’s debate on the Acuerdo de Vida en Pareja, which is basically a domestic partnership registry that would apply to homo, bi, a-, pan or hetero sexuals, romantic pairs or just friends – any two adults who want to join their financial futures together in order to have better prospects and a more solid foundation. Guess who was there to protest that? Oh, yes. The evangelicals are calling on us to come back to Jesus, as if this decision had anything to do with their church. 6 senators voted against; 28 in favor. The measure moves forward.

Perú Gourmet & LGBT Film Fest


Perú Gourmet has kicked off its four day event in Parque Bustamante, one green line train stop from Plaza Italia. It goes through Sunday and I’ll be making my way there tomorrow to what I hope is a Peruvian food heaven filled with bathtubfuls of ceviche, Cusqueña beer pouring out of the clouds and rocotto sauce rivers all around. There are 40 stands to check out, cooking demonstrations and kid fun. If you’re in town, check it out. If not I’ll let ya know how it went. ¡Viva Perú!

Don’t forget, Parque Bustamante – and many other outdoor spaces – will be jam-packed with food, theater, eco-fairs and other activities throughout the summer, so check the calendars for each comuna or read the banners tacked to the poles about town.

Lastly, the 2013 6th annual Movilh hosted LGBT international film festival [Movimiento de Integración y Liberación Homosexual] has begun and continues until October 30th at a number of locations. For programming go here. Oh, it’s totally free, too. Amazing.